I went to a large thankgiving dinner at the home of good friends. There were over 30 of us. It was a pretty Vermontish thing. The house is a remodeled old farmhouse high on a hill (you have to walk up about 20 stone steps to the door) overlooking a pond and farmland, with deep woods behind. People were dressed in everything from jeans to long skirts. The occupations of the guests were varied; farmers, an artisan cheesemaker, a lawyer, a large animal vet, architect, newspaper editor, college students, high school students, filmaker and more.
One friend, a very reserved and lovely guy in his late thirties, brought his new girlfriend: She stood out. She was dressed in high heeled suede boots and a tight skirt, lots of makeup and a form fitting stretchy top. Her hair was dyed platinum blond.
I’m not sure if she was smashed when she got there, but it became wildly obvious that she was smashed within a very short time. We weren’t sitting at the same table, but it was hard to ignore her presence; she was talking at the top of her voice, telling everyone how much she loved them and laughing at things only she found funny.
After dinner, we all gathered to play charades, and that’s when her behavior really escalated: she took to hopping on available male laps- particularly the laps of teenagers and her hostesses husband’s lap. When it was her turn to perform in Charades, she attempted a sexy dance that ended with her writhing on the floor. I have to note right here that not one person snickered at her or was anything but kind. Still it was fairly embarassing- particularly for her boyfriend.
A few minutes later I ran into her coming out of the bathroom; I stopped her and asked; “Are you OK?” She burst into tears. I ushered her into a little study and she told me that she’d lost her son in a car accident just about a year ago. I spent an hour with her. She was in horrible pain. She talked about her child and how extraordinarily close they were, and how terribly angry she is at him.
I made this snap judgement about someone- I daresay I wasn’t the only one there to do it. I’m sure I’ll do it again, but I’m going to try and remember what happened yesterday. LINK